Mother always knows best...er, maybe not!

Sweet Dreams, by Belgian artist Firmin Baes

An interesting study was undertaken by Galski (1983) which noted that unhealthy symbiotic relationships may partially account for hair pulling. A symbiotic relationship is one where the boundaries of separation and independent functions become blurred. For example, where a mother makes her child dependent on herself as its primary need gratifier, so that all needs must be met through her, then learning that leads to mastery over the environment and independent functioning is prevented. As a result important stimuli are not presented at appropriate times and necessary types of interactions do not occur.

It is very possible that a child in such a situation will find itself over-stimulated by such a parent’s constant supervision which it may have no adaptive means to prevent, neither by a show of aggression (saying 'No!') nor proximity withdrawal (leaving home). Access to external objects in order to meet personal needs or solve personal problems may require protracted emotional engagement with the mother, who may also assume control over the use and handling of objects. As a result innate mechanisms that would be engaged under normal conditions are inhibited in their development. In Winnicott’s terms, the mother has failed to support the child as a suitable transitional object so that the child is unable to make the transition towards independent functioning within its cultural context.

Reference: Galski, T. (1983) Hair Pulling (Trichotilllomania), Psychoanal Rev, Vol. 70, 3, 331-46.